crystal maze

Ah the heady days of 90's British TV. Doctor Who had died a death with the advent of the terrible Sylvester McCoy. The Tripods were but a distant memory (brilliant cliff hanger but no resolve as the next season got the axe). And so young and impressionable boys like me had to make do with TV like the Crystal Maze. In my mind it was the best thing since sliced bread. In case you are unaware what I am going on about let me enlighten you. The premise. Camp as tits Richard O'Brien, who was last seen in The Rocky Horror Picture Show and whose career had all but been washed ashore some distant island, takes a host of contestants around a set of four 'zones' as they pit their wits against various physical and mental challenges. There was the ocean zone, the pyramid zone, the industrial zone and the future zone (or something like that). You can see why I loved it. Having been brought up on the dodgy effects of the Peter Davison era of Who and with gameshows like The Adventure Game this was a breath of fresh air because it was all real. It reminded me of a game I used to play at the Trocadero in London aged 15 which had the set of Aliens recreated in a basement there. You were guided round the set and aliens chased you. The thrills were real. Ok so the crystal maze was undoubtedly shite as you can see from the following videos...

First off is a clip of just how bad it got in the crystal maze as those god awful contestants tried and usually failed to win crystals (thinking back I don't think I ever saw anyone win the major prize)...



So now you have the jist of the thing here is the spoof that I saw today that made me cry with laughter....



And if you're feeling particularly brave here are links to the first ever episode

E01 pt 01
E01 pt 02
E01 pt 03
E01 pt 04
E01 pt 05
E01 pt 06

And as a little secret. I once applied to be on a Christmas special of the crystal maze kids version. The official line as to why I didn't make it was "a bit too old and a bit too clever". Ha. Story of my life :)

battlestar galactica themes

Battlestar Galactica season 3 has just ended and before I start THERE WILL BE NO SPOILERS HERE. If you haven't seen ANY episodes it is probably best to not read any further and just go out and buy yourself the mini-series.

What a show. It actually is the best thing on television right now IMO. And I'm not a tub-thumping sci-fi geek either (well maybe a little ;) but what this show has is guts and intelligence. It is superbly written and brilliantly acted. And it has everything you could want in a show: love, action and drama.

Set in a distant galaxy there is a popluation of humans living on twelve planets named after our star signs, for example Caprica or Saggitaron. Each world has it's own set of beliefs and culture yet all are human and all speak English it would seem. As this species of human progress in their technological abilities they are able to create an artificially intelligent robot called the cylon who is supposed to work as a slave race to this people of man. But the cylons evolve and soon break off and a war erupts. The human race is ultimately successful and the cylons remove themselves to a far off world and no one hears of them for forty years. And this is where the new series of Battlestar Galactica starts off. Human memory of the cylons is fading. Their guard is down. What they have failed to realize is that the cylons have infiltrated earth at its very core having developed the ability to build new cylons in the form of humans. This infiltration leads to the biggest shut-down in these twelve planet's defences and ultimately to the surprise attack by the cylons on all twelve worlds. These attacks are deadly and all planets are nuked with only Caprica having a few survivors left. It is aboard the aging ship the Battlestar Galactica that a commander who is just about to retire had the mean task of leading a group of ships away from the devastating blows the cylons have generated. His ship was not networked to the fleet (him being a little 'old' fashioned) so the computer virus that spread through the rest of the fleet did not strike his. And so his crew flee along with a band of refugee ships to regroup and rethink their strategy. 50,000 people are all that remains of the human population. And things look bleak. Their water supplies are low and their fuel cells dwindling. Emerging from the ruins of this people is a new leader who is 52nd in line to the presidency before the attacks but is now raised to the position of leader and must rise to the challenge this brings. But what they do not have is hope, that is until Commander Adama tells them of a tale whereby human ancestors left many years ago and discovered a place called Earth. All at once there is a purpose. A glimmer in the distance. Something to aim for. And with that the fleet set off. This series is about the people involved. Their trials and struggles. It is a show that constantly challenges us. The characters are far from perfect and it is gritty and bleak. And yet it hooks you.

What fascinates me is the themes that it addresses. For one there is RELIGION. Humans are polytheists. Cylons are monotheists. The humans worship many gods with names such as the Romans worshipped, like Aggatheon and Apollo. The cylons worship one. There are underlying themes of faith. Both sides believe blindly without any proof of their God's existence and yet most if not all seem fixed in their beliefs. There are few athiests in the show. It would seem in many ways that the events have been predestined. There are people and events in place that seem to be there by chance but the human cylon Caprica 6 is often quoted as saying that God has a plan and a purpose in all that happens.

Then there is the idea of ETHICS. The cylons have just destroyed billions of people in their attacks on the twelve home worlds. And yet in many ways they are sympathetic. They come across as kind and caring. Almost as a parent looks over it's child which is ironic as the humans created them. The children have grown up and are facing their parents as we all do at some point and realise them for the people they actually are. The humans are generally flawed and not one is ever all good. In the case of President Roslin she has made some very dubious decisions, threatening to throw people out of airlocks and keeping a human/cylon child to raise away from it's parents. Commander Adama has also made some questionable decisions and is responsible for many lives. They come from a place of good yet their actions are often grey morally. We have even seen the side of cylon occupied 'new' Caprica where humans have banded together to form factions of suicide bombers. This puts us on the side of current issues in today's world. Making the American people the cylons. Now that IS controversial. You are never really sure which side you should be on. And this makes great television.

ps3 off

Utterly creepy: sci-fi horror. It draws on a scene from Trainspotting where the baby crawls along the ceiling. This ad also channels much of 2001 with the PS3 standing as an obelisk that sparks evolution into the doll by breathing life into it. The PS3 then uploads it's imagery and interactivity into the animate doll sparking emotion in it. The ad ends with the baby seemingly lifting the unit up with the power of it's mind, all this whilst taking place within a starkly-lit, white room. The parallels to 2001 continue right at the end of the ad as the baby's reflection is seen in the black facia of the PS3. Links to the obelisk scene from 2001 here and the end sequence here.

This ad is genius although a little inaccessible to most. I would definitely go a different route for promoting this product given the PS3's spate of bad press of late (late being the operative word here).

Battlestar Galactica

So if you aren't already watching Battlestar Galactica the new series do yourself a favour. Sign up for Love Film and get them to start by sending you the mini-series followed by season one. This show is absolutely brilliant. It is consistent each episode in that it delivers a dark and realistic vision of the future. I know this sounds a bit trite and for those of you who hate sci-fi fear not, this show is accessible to all. What this show features are intense character studies underlined by an overall story arc. Without wishing to give too much away the focus is on a bunch of people who work on the Battlestar Galactica and who get to watch as their home world is destroyed by a nuclear attack. They are the last of the race of men and are being hunted by a sinister alien force. Their only hope is to find a new home and this becomes their quest. If you know no more than this consider yourself lucky and go along for the ride.