crystal maze

Ah the heady days of 90's British TV. Doctor Who had died a death with the advent of the terrible Sylvester McCoy. The Tripods were but a distant memory (brilliant cliff hanger but no resolve as the next season got the axe). And so young and impressionable boys like me had to make do with TV like the Crystal Maze. In my mind it was the best thing since sliced bread. In case you are unaware what I am going on about let me enlighten you. The premise. Camp as tits Richard O'Brien, who was last seen in The Rocky Horror Picture Show and whose career had all but been washed ashore some distant island, takes a host of contestants around a set of four 'zones' as they pit their wits against various physical and mental challenges. There was the ocean zone, the pyramid zone, the industrial zone and the future zone (or something like that). You can see why I loved it. Having been brought up on the dodgy effects of the Peter Davison era of Who and with gameshows like The Adventure Game this was a breath of fresh air because it was all real. It reminded me of a game I used to play at the Trocadero in London aged 15 which had the set of Aliens recreated in a basement there. You were guided round the set and aliens chased you. The thrills were real. Ok so the crystal maze was undoubtedly shite as you can see from the following videos...

First off is a clip of just how bad it got in the crystal maze as those god awful contestants tried and usually failed to win crystals (thinking back I don't think I ever saw anyone win the major prize)...



So now you have the jist of the thing here is the spoof that I saw today that made me cry with laughter....



And if you're feeling particularly brave here are links to the first ever episode

E01 pt 01
E01 pt 02
E01 pt 03
E01 pt 04
E01 pt 05
E01 pt 06

And as a little secret. I once applied to be on a Christmas special of the crystal maze kids version. The official line as to why I didn't make it was "a bit too old and a bit too clever". Ha. Story of my life :)